2 Reasons You are Always Falling in Love with the Wrong Person

(this article first appeared in Crosswalk.com November 28, 2016)

Lane couldn’t believe it. Here she was again holding the pieces of her broken heart in her trembling hands.

Only six months ago Lane had become convinced that David was “the one” who would never let her down. He was kind, attentive, and seemed to look for ways to show her that he loved her.
Lane had thought, “At last I have found my prince charming. It’s finally my turn to live happily-ever-after.”
In the five years after Lane had graduated college she had dated a few guys who all seemed to have the qualities she was looking for in a husband. But time and again, each relationship would fall apart leaving her feeling alone and vulnerable.
Lane would promise herself, “Next time I will go into a relationship with my eyes wide open. Next time I will not be swept off my feet. Next time…”

But whenever the “next time” would come, Lane was just so excited about the new relationship that she jumped in with her whole heart––without taking the time to seek the Lord’s discernment, or even ask for godly counsel from her Christian friends.
And there was the sex. Lane knew that God wanted her to wait to have sex until she got married, yet she always excused her promiscuity by telling herself, “God understands. We are going to get married one day anyway so it’s not that big of a deal to have sex with someone I plan to marry.”
So, here she was again. Broken hearted, alone and asking herself, “Why do I keep falling in love with the wrong person?”
Can you relate?

Let’s look at a couple of reasons you’re always falling for the wrong person:

You’re looking in the wrong place.
When our oldest son was in basic training he was the head of his unit. Daily they were required to run great lengths.

The unit made record time––well everyone except for one woman. When the unit crossed the finish line, they learned their time didn’t count until their everyone crossed the line.
Our son resolved the situation by running alongside the woman. Whenever she began to lag behind, he would place his hand on the small of her back so she would keep the pace. With both of their eyes on the finish line, they would complete the course along with the rest of their unit.

Whenever I speak at Christian colleges, I tell the story of our son and his unit because it is a picture of running the Christian life.

The Bible says to think of life as a race God has set before us. Hebrews 12:1 says:

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.”
Hebrews 12:2 reminds us where to keep our focus:

“Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith.”

Do you look at your life as a race to be run with eyes focused on Christ? Or do you forget God has called to run with all your might with your eyes on Jesus––the prize?

Often when a person is looking for a spouse they take their eyes off Christ. When they’re distracted looking for “Mr. Right,” they lag behind in their race.

If you’re looking for a spouse, remember you are also looking for a ministry mate. Someone who will minister alongside you in the raising of children––if God so wills––and in the ministry opportunities God will send your way.

As you run your race, keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. And if one day, as you are running the race, you notice a man’s hand on the small of your back––or if you are the man and you find your hand on the small of her back to help keep the pace, ask God for wisdom to discern if you they are the one.

Hop on over to Crosswalk.com to READ THE WHOLE ARTICLE HERE: http://www.crosswalk.com/family/singles/2-reasons-you-are-always-falling-in-love-with-the-wrong-person.html


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