4 Myths Your Husband Believes about Marriage
(this article first appeared in Crosswalk.com October 19, 2016)
“Seriously? Are we really having this argument again?” Darin shouted at Debra.
After 14 years of marriage here they were arguing again. No matter what the two fought about, Darin knew the root of his anger toward Debra was found in his feelings of betrayal.
You might be asking, “Betrayal–How did Debra betray Darin? Did she have an affair?”
No, Debra had not cheated on Darin, nor had she been searching for old boyfriends on the internet. The betrayal Darin resented was over the way Debra had changed over the years of their marriage.
When Darin and Debra were dating, he was smitten by her happy-go-lucky manner. It seemed that any attempt made by Darin to be humorous was met by Debra’s boisterous laughter––her laugh had been what made Darin take notice of Debra.
These days, laughter seemed a distant memory. Debra had become so focused on her duty as a wife and mother, Darin felt that she sucked the fun right out of their lives!
Does this sound familiar?
In more than three decades of ministry, my husband Steve and I have mentored countless married couples. And that time, we have had the privilege of walking numerous engaged couples through pre-marital counseling sessions.
In one of their six-week-premarital-counseling sessions, Steve explains to the couple they should expect betrayal from their spouse at some point in their marriage.
After helping them realize betrayal in marriage can come in many forms––including, but not limited to infidelity, the couples are asked to make a list of what would make them feel betrayed by their spouse.
Interestingly, the lists by both husband and wife are often quite similar in that the basis of each list is founded in particular myths couples believe about marriage.
The myths your husband believes about marriage are rooted deeply in his subconscious. Influenced by the marriage of his own parents––or the lack thereof––your husband has gathered together ideas of what marriage should be like.
You would do well to learn to discern his expectations
so you can better minister to your man.
That being said, here are a four myths your husband likely believes about marriage:
1. It’s my wife’s job to make me happy.
2. I wish my wife was more like the woman I married.
3. More money equals less stress.
4. Making love to my wife is the way to fill up her emotional tank.
While this list is not exhaustive, let’s see if we can shed light on their misconceptions.
Hop over to Crosswalk.com to read the entire article: