When Happily Ever After is Not Enough By Rhonda Stoppe
Do you remember the thoughts running through your mind on the day you said, “I do”?
I remember being captivated by my ever-so-handsome groom–who was dressed in a white tux and tails. (Don’t judge me – If you got married in the 80s you might have made your man wear a white tuxedo too!)
Vowing to love, honor and cherish my husband, I was convinced that our happily-ever-after love story would fulfill my longing for a happy life.
As Steve and I settled into married life, I remember how I would look to him to fulfill all of my emotional longings. When I was sad, lonely, or feeling unattractive, if my husband did not say or do just the right things to make me feel better, I would secretly feel betrayed.
With each “betrayal” I found myself stuffing resentful thoughts toward my husband into the corners of my mind. Maybe you can relate to my experience. Do you struggle with feelings of resentment when your husband fails to measure up to your expectations? Do you find yourself feeling betrayed when your husband doesn’t make the effort to make you feel valued?
If so, you’re not alone my friend. In the number of years my husband and I have mentored married couples, time and again we have discovered that wives struggle with these same issues. And when wives feel like their husbands are not giving them the happiness they long for they usually respond in a number of ways. From what I have observed, women tend to:
- Withdraw emotionally
- Lash out in anger
- Harbor resentment
- Look for a way out of the relationship
Maybe you can identify with one or more of those responses. For me, as a young bride, I was tempted to withdraw emotionally. I come from a long line of broken marriages, and I was determined not to be another family statistic. So, when the Lord began to convict me of the wrong thinking that was threatening to take root in my heart, I knew I needed to change.
The Bible instructs the older women to teach the younger how to love their husbands (see Titus 2), so I decided it was time to reach out to some older women in my church.
From what I observed among the established Christian couples in our congregation there were some who were just married, and there were others who seemed to have grown more in love with one another over time. I reached out to the women who enjoyed marriages that I wanted to emulate. And do you know what these women did?…
Hop on over to Crosswalk to read the rest of this article by Rhonda Stoppe
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Rhonda Stoppe is the NO REGRETS WOMAN. Rhonda is an evangelist who meets women at the point of their desperation and shows them the way to Christ. I could have listened to Rhonda talk all night is what audiences say at her No Regrets Woman Conference where she helps women break free from the regrets that hold them back––beginning with a genuine relationship with Christ.
For more about Rhonda’s women’s evangelistic conferences watch this promo video
As a pastors’ wife, author, favorite radio guest and speaker with more than 30 years experience Rhonda’s delightfully authentic teaching, grounded in sound doctrine, helps women discover significance and become more influential than they ever dreamed possible. To learn more about Rhonda’s messages and to book her for your next women’s event visit her at: NoRegretsWoman.com
Rhonda’s books (Harvest House Publishers):
-Moms Raising Sons to Be Men
-If My Husband Would Change I’d Be Happy & Myths Wives Believe
-Real Life Romance
-The Marriage Mentor (to release 2018)
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