Single Moms Are You Feeling Left Out on Father’s Day? By Rhonda Stoppe
One of my dearest friends walked each of her daughters down the aisle on their wedding days. A bitter-sweet reminder that the father of her daughters had passed away while the girls were quite young.
In spite of their grievous loss, my friend determined to become the mother God intended her to be. And she has raised two wonderful daughters who have married godly men, and are now raising their own children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Over the years, I have met and mentored a number of single moms. Many express to me their feelings of loneliness, and regret for their own children–as they observe the interaction of families with dad in the home.
Even though you may feel like you’re the only one raising kids without a spouse, statistics reveal you are not alone. But far beyond the comfort of knowing there are lots of other single moms out there who have the same struggles as you, you should be happy to know
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
because God says you are not alone!
Do you realize God is more interested in building the character of your children than you are? And if your kids do not have a father be encouraged – Psalm 68:5 says the Lord is a father of the fatherless. Just meditate on that for a minute.
Your partner in parenting is GOD HIMSELF!
A number of years ago I shared Psalm 68:5 with a young man whose father had died of a drug overdose. When this young man heard that God promised to be a father to him because he was fatherless, he was filled with relief, courage, and hope for the future.
So Mom–What’s your part? How can you be assured the Lord will help you raise your fatherless children?
If you determine to walk closely to your God, He is faithful to keep His Word and help you raise your kids.
Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
I have a friend who was a single mother of two sons. I have known Kim since her boys were very young. Over the years Kim has diligently worked on two major relationships
INTIMACY WITH GOD & INTIMACY WITH HER KIDS
Kim took seriously God’s promise to be a father to her fatherless sons, and knew He would be the One to help her gain their obedient respect.
She taught her sons that they were obeying God when they obeyed their mom, which is the greatest motivation for obedience.
Kim also spent a great deal of time building a thriving, loving relationship with her boys. The result of Kim’s diligence paid off when her son’s became adolescents.
When their father was unavailable to help her enforce the rules on her 6 foot tall boys, Kim offered correction, not so much based on her authority to do so, but on God’s authority. And upon the relationship she had built with her boys.
FIND GODLY MENTORS
Along with trusting the Lord to help Kim earn the love and respect of her boys, she wisely looked to her church for believing mentors for her sons.
She wanted the boys to have heroes to look up to.
How better to find God-fearing men than to ask the Lord to direct her sons to men in the church?
Now in their thirties, Kim’s sons can look back and name several Christian men who taught them to be men who honored the Lord–and their mother.
When looking for someone to mentor your son, look not just for religious men, but men who have a genuine passion for Christ.
Don’t find men who simply follow religious rules, but men whose faithfulness draws your son to imitate their Christlike character. *
Author of A Woman After God’s Own Heart, Elizabeth George offers this insight:
“Being faithful to God is not revealed in any one heroic deed, but in every day occurrences.”
So single mom, look for men to mentor your children whose lives reflect Christ in the everyday-ness of life.
This generation aches for heroes who are genuine, passionate and noble. Determine to expose your children to men who sincerely love the Lord, and passionately glorify Him.
*Excerpt Moms Raising Sons to Be Men
Rhonda Stoppe’s book MOMS RAISING SONS TO BE MEN is mentoring thousands of moms to guide sons toward a no-regrets life. Her new book IF MY HUSBAND WOULD CHANGE I’D BE HAPPY-And Other Myths Wives Believe (Harvest House Publishers) helps women build no-regrets marriages and will release August, 2015.
As a pastor’s wife, speaker, and author, Rhonda helps women build NO REGRETS LIVES.